Laziness is what has kept me from updating this shit in a while.
Besides the fact that I hate titling my "deviations", I am just a massive failure.
I went to the beach yesterday, and got some pretty decent shots, so I guess I'll upload those.
Later though....fuck.
THERE I GO AGAIN WITH MY GINORMOUS FLAW......PROCRASTINATION.
I swear there is like an elf in my mind when I don't take adderall that tells me not to do anything.
It's actually quite funny.
OKAY SO YEAH.
Another pointless journal, but talking to yourself is fun sometimes.
I really have a taste for a tuna melt.

and I actually have a bunch of drawings to upload now that i think about it.
But scanning shit is a bitch, so I'm just gonna take pictures of them.
HAHA.

So on Tuesday (June 30) [link] our friend Rizi, and myself went to a 7+ hour concert that consisted of 11 or so bands, some were amazing, and some...literally were so boring I laid my head on the guy in front of me, who ironically enough was standing in front of me at the Opeth concert in May. Weird right? Anyways. Don't count on me to be 100% accurate, because I never am, but I'm pretty sure Blackguard went first. I actually kinda liked them, and I thought the drummer (who was a girl ], was quite impressive. They didn't play very long, which was a shame because I would have rather listened to them a little longer, rather then some of the other bands.

I think Decrepit Birth was after them, but I'm really not positive. All I know, is the "vocalist", scared the shit out of me. His dreads seriously looked like they were eating his face, and just the look he gave when he glanced was pretty freaky. Music wise, I really don't remember. I wasn't complaining though, so they were probably okay.

After the Burial was next....I think. They were probably the most annoying of the entire night, accompanied with the fangirl standing next to Tara, who was basically singing along so fucking loud and toppling over the people in front of her, it was basically like "LEMME GIVE YOU HEAD, AND YOU GIMME YO AUTOGRAPH". Okay seriously. No. During their set, and her simultaneous outburst of "annoying-ness", Tara kept on telling me what a disgrace to women that girl was. And I'd have to agree. They were shit, and one of their members looked like a pervert.

Beneath the Massacre was next...I guess. I remember resting my head on Jason (the guy in front of me) during one of them, so it was probably them.

Origin was next, and the stupid fangirl disappeared. She was probably so scared of the huge ass vocalist that she ran the fuck away. Haha, so yeah. Origin was fucking amazing, but we lost Rizi so it was a fail. I thought I was going to die at one point because people were going insane behind me. But I didn't die...I actually thought the vocalist might. Damn, he is fucking huge as shit man. Like 6'0, 340 pounds. Shit. He looks like he could eat you. But yeah.

I'm pretty sure Born of Osiris was next. Honestly, I really like them, and that one song (Open Arms to Damnation) is fucking amazing. They were pretty amazing, and I really wanted to put my finger through the bassists ear lobes.

Dying Fetus was next. FUCK. They are fucking incredible. I don't know if it was them, I'm pretty sure it was, but their bassist or guitarist looks like a fucking caveman. Like a real damn caveman. They were amazing, and I'm very happy to have their entire discography on my ipod.

I guess Winds of Plague was next, again, not sure, but yeah. Their keyboardist was pretty sexy, trashy sexy, but enough to keep me awake. We all had a pre-existing hatred for them, because of that so-called "video" they made. If you're gonna call your band "metal" or whatever the fuck they were, don't fucking make a video that, without sound, would most likely be mistaken for a rap video, with a dumbass white guy prancing around. Ridiculous.

Darkest Hour was after them. They pretty much sucked. Me and Tara were laughing while they were playing because we were both laying on the people in front of us. I never thought a man's sweaty back could be such a great pillow. Lolcakes. But it was.

Ensiferum was next. SHIT. They were probably my favorite, or second favorite of the night. AMAZING. They came out in their little kilts and war paint, and fucking got the crowd so excited. Some little bitch next to me, kept on trying to elbow her way in front of me. Thank god I was taller than her, even though she surpassed me width wise. The crowd surfers helped me out a lot too, even though one of them almost made me pass out when he elbowed me right in my fucking head. But she was actually no where to be found once a few people crowd surfed their way to the floor, face first. Once they were done playing, Tara was on the rail for the first time.....but not for long. She turned to me and said "I don't feel good all of a sudden", and then....she passes out. At first, I was freaking out and I wanted security to come, but their only useful to dumbasses who crowd surf, so I took her under the arms and dragged her out of the crowd. I sat her down, in what I thought was a safe spot, and then I looked around, and realized I sat her right in the fucking pit. REAL SMART. So I dragged her up, and sat her on a stair, and went to get some much needed water. Rizi, and our friend Andy who we met while one of the bands was setting up, actually came with us, which was a very nice gesture considering he came all the way from Palm Springs. We sat there for about 10 minutes, I almost started crying during that time because I had no idea what I would tell her mom if something happened. But yeah, we went to the upper level and sat down and watched Suffocation play from up there. Shit, they were fucking amazing too. The singer was mumbling some shit about cats or babies or eating shit or some crap like that, and it was actually really funny, so I couldn't help but laugh. We watched their whole set upstairs, but it wasn't that bad. There was some guy who looked like a Captain Jack Sparrow. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

We went down once their set was finished to see Necrophagist. Even though we were on the side, it was fucking EPIC. Okay seriously they are amazing. And they know how to captivate a fucking crowd. They played like 3 songs, that were just so head-banging worthy, you could not help yourself, unless your a complete douche. Rizi and me were laughing at the scenester next to me, whose pants were "tighter than Tara's and mine put together". Haha, he was lame. But yeah Necro was amazing. Kind of sucked that they ran out of merch, because Ensiferum's was ugly as hell, and they were the only other one's I would have spent money on.

Um, yeah. Me and Tara went to Carney's after it was over, and waited for her very pissed off parents to pick us up. I won't go through that story because to be quite honest, I just want to remember the concert itself, and the nice ass people we met.

So yeah, SUMMER SLAUGHTER 2009.
My neck and legs almost died, but hey...what can you expect?

since I last updated my journal. Jeez...I let these things go way to long. Ha, anyway....I received my new camera finally about 2 months ago and I honestly am still figuring out little things about it. It's so funny how even when i read the ENTIRE instruction manual I still learn more by clicking buttons. Haha. Mmkay...so i'm basically obsessed with the amazing shutter speed, and the over color and perspective I can create with it...and not to mention my cat loves to model for me with it. . So yeah, I've basically been busy with that and school....ew. I had to take the CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) and to be quite honest I think I did a pretty damn good job, seeing as I paid no attention to geometry or algebra in class. Well yeah so once I was done with Day 1 of the CAHSEE, which I finished an hour and a half before we could even go to the second part, I asked my English teacher who might I add is amazingly nice, for paper so i could draw. I draw more than I take pictures, but there are so many amazing artists on dA I feel inferior to them all. But it's a sharing community I guess, so I'll upload a couple I've recently drawn.

Yesterday, I was comparing my drawings from a year ago with the one I've been working on for the past few days, and I've got to say this, if you do something a lot and try to master it you get better and better. I can't believe how much I've grown as an "artist" of you will, it's funny how much my shading and lines have progressed and everything. I'm proud of it, I guess. But yeah....I'll obviously have a million more pictures of my cat on here at one point. I'm thinking of taking him in my backyard with like a harness and leash and let him look like a "jaguar" as [link] would say. Damn, I love linking people. Lmfao.

Well that's about it....have a kind day.
;D

I get my new camera tomorrow....hopefully. I must have spent 17 hours on the phone with FedEx and Ritza camera trying to figure out where it was. Oy vey, it has probably been to every city in the world by now seeing as how they fucked up on the shipping addresses. Damn. And I love how everyone is a photographer now, using fucking professional cameras before they even picked up a regular digital camera. Sucks how anyone can take a good picture of something with a SLR. I remember when I used to use my Nikon F4...good times. All my fucking old pro. cameras broke, because of not only being old, but being moved and stored in different conditions so many times. SUCKS...those were amazing cameras. Whatever...I can't wait to get my XSI with 15-55mm & 75-300mm lens. . VERY EXCITE. Gooooood. I was supposed to have it a week ago. I could have been playing with it on my way back from San Franny, but no, certain people are unreliable and don't choose to call when an item is available for pickup. .

San Franny was nice. I could breath THROUGH MY NOSE for 5 days..which is rare for me. Fucking LA. Dirtiest fucking city in America.

I want to go to India, and Asia really fucking bad.

Oh yeah....and my dad's an ass.
;D

WARNING: THIS IS REALLY FUCKING LONG

DIR EN GREY CONCERT
Best night of my life.

If you want to read how bad security was start at paragraph 4.
If you want to skip to the concert itself start at paragraph middle of 6.

SO here it goes I'm gonna start from the VERY beginning. I got to Tara's house, her mom fed me food so I would get unconstipated which did not work well. Sooo we went on myspace, played my dumb "charlie charlie whoop" game, and Tara tried to figure out what her outfit was gonna be for a fucking hour. So we went to bed...which was a fail because of me and my childish actions. So when we finally "got to sleep" I had a dream about a monkey with big eyes in a bag of caramel popcorn to be exact. So we woke up from our not so deep slumber at around 4:00 A.M. and talked about how constipated we were. So we woke her parents up at around 4:40 I would say. We got dressed ate breakfast and got our shit together which took around an hour. We left about 6:00 to go to the Wiltern. Tara read her failed Korean while we drove in Koreatown, and when we got to the Wiltern we were like "OMG NO ONE IS IN LINE" so her dad threatened to take us back home....but when we drove around we saw A BUNCH of people in sleeping bags...and we were like "HEY ARE YOU GUYS LINED UP FOR THE DIR EN GREY CONCERT" and this guy in a Pikachu jacket was like "JONAS BROTHERS!?"....but he cleared up that it was for Dir en grey. So her dad dropped us off walked back to the car and fell asleep, but her mom managed to call or text every other second. We sat there for approximately 5 minutes when me and Tara decided to go to CVS or whatever it was to get cards....but the sign that said "open 24 hours" lied. So we went back to Anna who was waiting very impatently for us on the cold ground.

When the tour bus pulled up we saw a big fat roadie with long blonde hair come out...and that was about it. We saw trash cans and thought Kyo might be hiding in them. So after about 30 minutes Cooper comes and makes us all hyper and shit for no reason. So we all talked and sat and drank water. Cooper, Tara, and myself abandoned Anna once again to get cards which were too expensive for the jew (myself) so Tara ended up buying them. Me being a retard doesn't know how to play cards so I decided to just watch and make stupid side comments while the three of them bitched at me to shut up. These two people came up when Cooper wasn't there yet and gave us numbers, so when they came back they gave him a number and stamped and numbered all of our hands. The winners didn't look like they arrived yet...so I was thinking "what a waste of a human being". ANYWAY...about 8:00 A.M. we all moved to the Wiltern, we ended up after about 20 minutes of moving down the line at the Denny's back entrance/exit which proved to be a major pain in the ass at the end of the day. So we sat down and Tara threw Capri Sun at this random guy. Some lady came by and gave us her blanket which was pretty gross so I tried to avoid it as much as possible. We played cards, exchanged jokes, sung stupid songs like "I'm Sorry Ms. Jackson" and the "50 States" song. So after having to move like 8 times because we were blocking the doorway to Denny's we all got comfortable and made a little circle and laid down on each other. Time went by slow....after about 1:00 we had all already gone to ralphs, mcdonalds, and the bathroom once. So at around two our friend Lexy showed up but she had to go in the back of the line since they were marking numbers and we couldn't save her a spot. We visted her and talked for a while and then went back to Anna and Cooper who were sitting in the little Denny's outside seating area.

Me and Tara went to throw out the garbage + the dirty blanket and to also check the tour bus to see if we could see anything...but we couldn't. We went back to the line and waited and waited and waited. At around 5:00 the line started moving so I called Tara who had gone to accompany Lexy to the bathroom to tell her to run around the side to get in line because that's where the dumbass security guard told the people with Live Nation tickets to go. So I saw her....then I saw a bunch of people who had just arrived way in the front. I went up to the security guard and asked him what the hell was going on because some people had slept over night and deserved to get in the pit. He told me "blah blah blah yeah were working on it". So afterwards some guy who claimed to be a staff member (none of us really belived him at first) told us that the people with Live Nation had to line up at Oxford. Me and Tara started running to Oxford, behind Ralphs, and into the line. Fucking unbelievable how unorganized this shit was. So Tara was like I'm gonna go see where Anna and Cooper are, so I stayed in line. Anna called me and told me to come to where she was so I did asnd then I called Tara because she wasn't there when I got to them to come to where I was. I finally found her and put her into line. So it finally sorta worked out at this point and some lady came down and called our names to make sure nobody was out of place.

Earlier in the day we established that Anna and Cooper would go get merch and me and Tara would go save spots. We went in, Cooper and Anna went to the merch booth, and then everything went to shit and got even more fucking unorganized. We were probably some of the first 200 people in line and yet we almost didn't get a spot in the pit because people were jumping over the railing and security were assholes and didn't do anything about it. Some people who were right in back of me were with some of the people who showed up aat around 3 or 4. One of the staff guys was like "You're gonna be really mad if you stay in this line to get in the pit...so I suggest going to the 2nd level thing to try and get a good spot before you end up all the way over here (which was like the back)". I ran over and tried to hold 4 spots but people are bitches and bitched at me. So Tara was in the pit line and when I saw her getting close I ran to her and she shoved me so I could get passed the asshole staff guy and into the pretty nice one giving out the pit bands.

During this whole fucking time poor Anna and Cooper were holding our merch and weren't even able to see the stage because security, staff and basically organization was fucked up. I told Anna to give me my stuff but security wouldn't even let me up there so I had to grab it from her from the second level thing. There was SO much room left in the pit and I still do not understand why they could not let them down there. I still feel bad and would do anything (except give my CD away) to show how sorry I am for allowing them to get my stuff and suffer the consequences while I got to be in the best section.

So while we were waiting we got to laugh at the stupid texts people were sending to that thing. Some roadie who was a total Kyo wannabe comes out and this other guy who had Kaoru's hair and posture comes out facing backwards. So they set up the stage and me and Tara see the acoustic guitar so we were kinda hoping an unrealistic dream that they would play Undecided or the remake (trying to get our hopes up D: haha). So the Human Abstract starts and they honestly weren't as bad as people make them out to be. The singer was pretty good and I couldn't stop looking at the guy with the dreads. They played for about 45 minutes but during their whole performance I saw about 5 people plus myself and Tara at least nodding our heads. I understand you're "conserving your energy for Dir en grey, but honestly theres no harm in showing your respect and headbanging lightly.

So when they were done it was time for the main event. Again the Kyo wannabe appeared and so did the other fat roadie and the wannabe Kaoru. SO once they were done Sa Bir started playing. It got us sort of pumped up (its no GDS) but yeah so basically Obscure started playing and it was like I was in a different place right away. I honestly didn't feel like I was in the presence of these five men I've looked up to and respect SO much. Me and Tara started out between Die and Kyo's side but ended up between Toshiya and Kyo.


Set list is probably not in order but I remember every song like it was yesterday. Kyo had an accapella in the middle of either Hydra -666- and The Final or after Conceived sorrow which would have been perfect had it not been for the fan girl screams. The movements are like....GODLY im telling you he was sent from another world.

So Obscure was amazing and I made eye contact with Die and smiled at him and jfhdjf WOWWW.

Grief was fucking fun. I got a lot of joy screaming "FUCK OFF" over and over again.

Agitated Screams of Maggots was good...for not really liking this song....I got some joy again screaming "I'LL RAPE YOUR DAUGHTER ON YOUR GRAVE". Yeah it was okay...no it was amazing I'll admit it.

IYUDFH. HOLY SHIT. Okay Disable Complexes....I almost fucking fainted at the fucking dancing and touching and akhfchjusdgf UGHHHH. And singing "PSYCHO CHUNA/KILLER" was fun.

The Fatal Believer was anoying because this is about where I ended up between Toshiya and Kyo and behind these 3 assholes who headbanged throughout EVERY song...and this one asian dude who looked like one of our "friends" who was also very annoying and was abviously a little fan boy.

Toguro was AMAZING. I got chills. And Toshiya omgghjdhf fucking hot and Kaoru with his granny playing....I couldn't see Die....I saw Shinyas hair flying . Oh and Kyo fuadhf AMAZING. (obviously)

Ryojuko no Ame was another epic(?) performance. I died a little at this one because his voice live is just something that you can't describe or fathom.

Agitated Screams of Maggots -unplugged- erm.....no words can describe this it was amazing. besides the random screams from the background it was perfect. And the crate Kyo was on just made him look godly during this performance.

CONCEIVED SORROW. Is epic the word I'm supposed to use if something is so fucking amazing it makes you cry? Well this was epic then. Honestly I've never ever ever been so mesmerized by one human being in my life. I cried...like the little baby I am. I was so touched by this performance. For some reason I knew I would be to.

Glass Skin was also beautiful. Kyo's voice was so perfect and so distinct. The little asshole next to me was fucking light waving his hand the whole time...and I'm like dude it's a slow fucking song save your od damn energy....I said this in my mind of course.

The Final.....ugh. FTW. AMAZING. I've never screamed/sang so damn loud in my life. It was incredible.

Audience Killer Loop was amazing. Erm....I fucking loved it. It was funny because Tara was like "omg audience killer loop" at the song right before this because she thought she heard the beginning dings...but it wasn't....btu right after it played. WUIERD.

HYDRA -666-.....AMAZINGGG. Just amazing. Honestly though....it looked like a bunch of people didn't know this song. Cuz they were like pumping their hands too many times it was a little funny. But amazing.

Dozing Green was amazing. I just fucking loved it. I wanted to liek rape every single one of them.
I made eye contact with Toshiya during this

Merciless Cult. I don't want to talk about it. Pissed me off.

REPITION OF HATRED. NOSEBLEED STATUS.
Holay shit mayne. He is so fucking sexy. OMGAWD. The beginning was funnay....me and tara did the little pointing thing in sync and like looked at each other and laughed because we know how sexy he is. And then when Tara was fucking taking a video of Toshiya doing the "Parasite..Children of HATRED!" Kyo glared in our area and she missed it. It was amazing though...I didn't feel like a real connection like your supposed to when somebody LOOKS at you but hey whatever theres always next time which there will be once they get their skinny asses back to LA.

They went off the stage but Kaoru and Die stayed on and did a little guitar duet for us and it was pretty awesome they were both smiling and dhdjghd AGH. It was cute.

OH YEAH AND HE BLEW A FUCKING KISS TO THE somewhatAMAZING LOS ANGELES AUDIENCE. SO FOOCHA.

They came back and played Kodou which was amazing obviously. I was waiting for either this song or Kodoku Ni Shisu etc. HAHA long. But yeah it was worth the wait and it was amaziiiinngggg

Gaikia Chinmoku Ga Nemuru Koro was AMAZING. I was happy I knew the slow parts lyrics so I could kind of sing along and match up to Tara's amazing memorization skills.

Clever Sleazoid was UGH. I sang along the whole time and some bitch kicked me so now I have a black and blue mark on my ass but it's okay. The assholes in front of us...I hope their necks fall off...because their hair was disgusting.

Saku was ehhhh. I'm not a big fan of this song so I can't really comment on it.

The IIID Empire was good....we waited until they got about 5 SPARK AND SPARKS in till we escaped to get in the autograph line....which was stupid because we could have possibly unlikely have gotten a pick or something...but honestly the way we left worked out perfectly.

I asked a security guard if they were doing the autograph thing and he said yeah get in that line so I ran and got to the line I was about the 4th person....Tara was looking for Anna and when she found her she came back to me. I gave her her CD which I brought from home. About 7 minutes before Shinya and Die came out some really nice Asian kid sent from heaven texted Tara and told him "I haver this phone Im at the entrance" or some shit like that so I RAN MY ASS OFF to get there but security was assholes because some girl(s?) fainted or something but yeah I managed to get out and borrow Coopers phone and bumped into the guy with my phone.I was so thankful.

So I ran to get back in and I'm glad security was nice enough to let me back in. I showed up with my phone. I put on my hoodie because my hair was disgusting. Me and Tara saw the singer from The Human Abstract and we acknowledged him and shook his hand and had a quick friendly conversation with him and shook his hand. SO DUN DUN DUN.

Yes this gets its own paragraph. SHINYA AND DIE SIT DOWN AND I'M LIKE OMFG. I bring my CD to them say thank you and then I forgot to shake Die's hand so went back and was like "Can I shake your hand?" and he was like yeah so I shook it then rubbed his DNA on his autograph. I was so fucking happy. I still can't believe it. We left, found Anna after a whole bunch of screaming and yelling apologized to Cooper a million times for making him get really bad seating and went to the car.

If security was better and Anna and Cooper were with us, Kyo had looked at our section more, and we had stayed during the whole IIID Empire I would feel like this was complete. I really hope and I'll pray that they come back here. I know where my loyalty stands, and it's to this band and it's 5 Godly members. I love them and have a new found respect because they are more amazing live than I could have wished. I still feel like this night wasn't real and NEED to experience it again for it to get through my brain. I love Dir en grey and always will.

Is that a long enough report? ^__^

Oh yeah and the guy in the beginning selling hash, insense, and asking for $$ when we were about to go in was hilarious.